Oakbrook Evangelical Free Church

Deuteronomy 6:5-9

Introduction:

All of us want to raise great kids. We want to do the right thing.

Three players:

God: He understands and supports us.

Us (parents and the heritage they bring into the family)

We model for them a life that should be God centered.

We provide protection and safety and guidance.

The children themselves. The Lord knows they have a will of their own.

Ultimately children become young adults and they will have

responsibility for their own life. Oh how enabling parents and

overly connected parents that always step in and rescue their

growing up children. Oh how they cripple their children and

sometimes for life.

2 Corinthians 5:10 “We will be called to account”

This passage is not all that God has to say about the subject of parenting.

And the Bible is not the only place to find help.

But God’s Word and this passage lay down some very important principles.

This passage is talking about the role of parents.

Huge responsibility.

To a large degree the welfare of our world depends on the job we

do. One of the most important jobs in the world.

Joshua 24:14-15 “…choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your forefathers served beyond the River, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for me and my household, we will serve the LORD.”

Decision #1: Personal commitment to love and serve the Lord!

Overview: In order for a G-Rated family to survive in an X Rated Culture

In order to raise great kids we must

1. Put God’s Word in our hearts.

2. Teach His Word in our home

3. Discuss His Word in our day

4. Show His Word in our world.

I. Key elements in the Process

A. Its a home-based process. There’s the movement of time in these verses.

Home: The center and the filter!

“When”

Diligence:

Heads up: paying attention; head on a swivel

Situational awareness.

From the Kremlin: Paying attention…

The Kremlin, the old, walled fortress that was the political center of the atheistic Communist regime in the Soviet Union, is filled with spiritual symbols. The showpiece of the Kremlin is—unbelievably—Cathedral Square, which is composed entirely of ancient churches and cathedrals.

Each Russian Orthodox Church has two murals over the exit door on its western wall. The mural on the left depicts paradise; the one on the right depicts hell. Between them, above the door, the Lord is shown on the Great White Throne.

Stalin, Lenin, and other atheistic Communist leaders must have passed this square a thousand times. They were no strangers to its visual images, but apparently were blind to the images’ spiritual significance.

We don’t have to travel to Soviet Union to find people not taking the time to pay attention.

Time Intensive

Teaching His Word in your home.

Discussing His Word in your day.

Breakfast through the activities of the day to bed time.

Showing His Word in your world.

Quantity time, not just quality time.

Unending process: “Once a parent, always a parent.”

Role changes but we only late in life cross the finish line

when they will parent us.

Not always an organized or neat and tidy process.

Often in the course of the day.

In the car, in the garage, in the kitchen, in the family room,

At bedtime. Just after school.

We don’t always get to pick the time or place.

Don’t have the option of choosing one item to work on.

Have to deal with them all as they come.

B. It’s all about relationship

Not merely information and knowledge.

It’s about internalizing truth. This requires relationship and lifestyle.

They have to see it.

Our Goal: to lead them into a right relationship with God.

C. It’s all about lifestyle – “life” the teacher.

Our Goal: to lead them to a total commitment to Jesus Christ.

D. It’s all about character.

Responsibility: stands up and takes personal responsibility for our

relationship with God and His Word

Integrity - what you see is what you get.

Not merely about what we say – but about what we do

“Love the Lord your God will all”

“And these words shall be on your heart”

Can’t pass on what I don’t have! Begins with us.

“When You Thought I Wasn’t Looking.”

When you thought I wasn’t looking, I saw you hang my first painting on the refrigerator, and I wanted to paint another one.

When you thought I wasn’t looking, I saw you feed a stray cat, and I thought it was good to be kind to animals.

When you thought I wasn’t looking, I saw you make my favorite cake for me, and I knew that little things are special things.

When you thought I wasn’t looking, I heard you say a prayer, and I believed there is a God that I could always talk to.

When you thought I wasn’t looking, I felt you kiss me goodnight, and I felt loved.

When you thought I wasn’t looking, I saw tears come from your eyes, and I learned that sometimes things hurt, but it’s all right to cry.

When you thought I wasn’t looking, I saw that you cared and I wanted to be everything that I could be.

When you thought I wasn’t looking, I looked … and wanted to say thanks for all the things I saw … When you thought I wasn’t looking.

Personality - with all you inherited: Body, soul, and spirit. Cx ads mind

Dealing with the finger print of your heritage.

Allowing God to help you face and deal with unfinished business.

Allowing God to mend and mold you into a whole person no matter

what you received genetically or environmentally.

No excuses! The end of shifting blame.

Taking confidence in your worth and theirs as they unique person

they are. Not comparing one child’s gifts and personality with

the others. Not playing favorites. And when you feel drawn to

one more than the other, or when one child is more needy than

another, doing all you can to resist this!

Yes, special situations do take more attention and time and money.

But bring the other children into the circle to share and care for.

And for sure, carve out huge portions of your energy and strength

and time for each one of your children.

Our Goal: to build character!

I like what Dr. John Townsend says about the aspects of character: p.31-32

1. Attachment

Goal: to teach them how to have an honest, healthy relationship with God with themselves and with others.

2. Responsibility:

Goal: to teach them to take personal responsibility for their lives.

3. Reality

4. Competence

5. Conscience

6. Worship

II. The Ingredients God Has Provided To Produce Growth in Us and Our Children

A. Truth, 6:5

God has provided limits. God has provided guidelines.

The National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse has released an extensive study on teens and substance abuse. Their main finding was that “teens whose parents have established rules in the house have better relationships with their parents and a substantially lower risk of smoking,

drinking, and using illegal drugs than the typical teen.”

Out of the 526 girls and 474 boys between ages 12 and 17 evaluated, the study found that only 25 percent live with parents who establish and enforce rules in the home. These 25 percent are at less risk for drug abuse than teens whose parents impose few or no rules.

The study discovered that the successful parents habitually did at least 10 of the following 12 actions:

Monitor what their teens watch on TV.

Monitor what their teens do on the Internet.

Put restrictions on the CDs they buy.

Know where their teens are after school and on weekends.

Are told the truth by their teens about where they really are going.

Are “very aware” of their teens academic performance.

Impose a curfew.

Make clear they would be “extremely upset” if their teen used pot.

Eat dinner with their teens six or seven nights a week.

Turn off the TV during dinner.

Assign their teen regular chores.

Have an adult present when the teens return home from school.

Of the teens living in lax homes, only 24 percent had an exceptionally good relationship with their mothers and 13 percent with their fathers. Of the teens living in relatively strict homes, 57 percent had an exceptionally good relationship with their mothers and 47 percent with their fathers.

The Center’s president Joseph A. Califano Jr., former U.S. Secretary of Health, Education and Welfare, comments: “Mothers and fathers who are parents rather than pals can greatly reduce the risk of their children smoking, drinking and using drugs.”

Decision #2: Commitment to build a Word based family

God’s Word is absolutely essential for the conversion of your family.

Makes us “wise unto salvation”

1 Pe 1:23 “Born again by the incorruptible seed of the Word of God.

James 1:18 God gave us birth through the word of truth.

Romans 10;17 “Faith comes by hearing and hearing by the word of G.”

Only God’s Word can protect you and your family from the influence of a pagan culture.

That’s the reason for Deut 6:5-7

That’s the reason for Joshua 1

That’s the reason for Psalm 1

Goal: to build the Word of God into their lives.

3 S’s:

Scripture songs

Stories and Scripture itself.

Supplication: Pray with and for your children.

Seeing things as they really are, not as we think they should be.

God’s evaluation is reliable. You can depend on it.

His Word is ultimate reality. It is the only lens through you can see

yourself, your children and our world as they really are.

We are so blind to ourselves and our children. Open my eyes Lord.

Life as it is, not as we wish it were.

And a truthful person is someone who faces what really is.

See the truth

Speak the truth

Live the truth.

Learning to look at things and evaluate them not as they appear to be. But looking for the truth. No worse feeling than false accusation!

We live in a sin-filled world. We are all sinners. And we let each other down. Now, how are we doing to deal with this?

B. Grace, 6:10-11

Favor, kindness, for someone, on their side, unearned, given freely.

Compassion, forgiveness, understanding, love and help.

Ephesians 4:31 – 5:2 “Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. And be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.

5:1 Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children; and walk in love, just as Christ also loved you, and gave Himself up for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God as a fragrant aroma.”

The Balance of Grace and Truth?

Psalm 85:10 “Lovingkindness and truth have met together; Righteousness and peace have kissed each other.”

Psalm 40:11 “Thou, O LORD, wilt not withhold Thy compassion from me; Thy lovingkindness and Thy truth will continually preserve me.”

John 1:16-17 “For of His fulness we have all received, and grace upon grace. For the Law was given through Moses; grace and truth were realized through Jesus Christ.”

Allowing grace and truth to “kiss each other”

See chart!