Oakbrook Evangelical Free Church

Love is “Yes” and Thinks the Best!
Ed Riddick, February 8, 2009
Introduction:
1. Want you to think of a promise from God’s Word, look it up and keep it close to you.
_ 19,000 major church conflicts annually
_ 8 million lawsuits among Christians every year
_ Sexual abuse in the church – the nightmare
_ Direct costs of conflict in the church exceed $40 billion
_ Average pastor’s career is 14 years (4 years to train)
~ Average youth pastor’s stay is 18 months.
~ 70% of youth pastors leave as a direct or indirect result of senior pastor/youth pastor conflict.
_ 1,500 pastors quit every month
_ 23% of pastors have been fired
_ Conflict is chief cause of pastoral discouragement and forced exits
_ Pastors report that conflict management training was the training most lacking in Bible schools and seminaries
The Corinthians were complainers!
1 Corinthians 10:10 “And do not grumble, as some of them did—and were killed by the destroying angel.” NIV
Numbers 16:41-49 “The next day the whole Israelite community grumbled against Moses and Aaron. “You have killed the Lord’s people,” they said. But when the assembly gathered in opposition to Moses and Aaron and turned toward the Tent of Meeting, suddenly the cloud covered it and the glory of the Lord appeared. Then Moses and Aaron went to the front of the Tent of Meeting, and the Lord said to Moses, “Get away from this assembly so I can put an end to them at once.” And they fell facedown.
Then Moses said to Aaron, “Take your censer and put incense in it, along with fire from the altar, and hurry to the assembly to make atonement for them. Wrath has come out from the Lord; the plague has started.” So Aaron did as Moses said, and ran into the midst of the assembly. The plague had already started among the people, but Aaron offered the incense and made atonement for them. He stood between the living and the dead, and the plague stopped. But 14,700 people died from the plague, in addition to those who had died because of Korah.” NIV

There is a lot to be said about not being complainers!
Check your attitude! Take a good look at your general mindset!
A negative mental attitude will drag you and those around you down. What is your outlook?

It is interesting that Paul does not rebuke them for their complaints. He addresses them honestly and publically.

If there ever was a model of building and maintaining a culture of peace and reconciliation it is Paul!
There are 3 complaints in 1:12-2:4
They shared them with one of Paul’s right hand men – Titus.
Likely their complaints were heard by Titus when he delivered Paul’s letter. Personally, I love honest, direct communication! At least we can talk about it. Paul communicates openly, gently and directly. Nothing hidden or subtle here!
I am not sure exactly why but at least in the church it seems there is a tendency to be afraid to say what we think and to cover up hurts and conflicts. Paul seems to take the opposite approach!
How we talk to and about each other is very important!
Speech either builds up or tears down relationships!
First Complaint: Paul is hard to understand, 2 Cor 1:12-14!
Peter seems to agree.
2 Peter 3:15-16 “Paul’s letters contain some things that are hard to understand, which ignorant and unstable people distort, as they do the other Scriptures, to their own destruction.” NIV
Paul’s response:
1. We are confident before God that we have conducted ourselves toward you in holiness and sincerity.
Sincere – open and honest!

2. Our teaching has been according to God’s wisdom, not the wisdom of the world which we hope that as time passes you will grow in your understanding.
Read =  Greek meaning “read aloud”
Understand =  – Greek meaning  “to recognize or understand”
3. We hope you come to the time when you will boast in us as we are confident we will boast in you on the day of Christ.
Their lives are intertwined!
Principle: Paul chooses to live his life on the positive side of mental attitudes and expectations! He expects the best of them!
Language of
1. Boasting: 1:12, 14; 5:12; 7:4, 14; 10:8,13, 15-17; 11:10, 12, 16-18, 30; 12:1, 5-6, 9
2. Commending: 3:1; 4:2; 5:12; 6:4; 10:12, 18; 12:11
3. Confidence: 1:9, 15; 3:4; 5:6, 8; 7:4, 16; 10:2, 7
The language of boasting, commending and confidence occurs more in 2 Corinthians than anywhere else in the NT!
3 Resumes: 4:8-9; 6:4-10; 11:22-12:6

Why?
1. Paul does not present his credentials to make himself look good. He does so because he is pushed to do so by the Corinthians. He did so to guard the safety of the church!
Paul is very open about why! Open and honest com…
2 Corinthians 5:12 “We are not trying to commend ourselves to you again, but are giving you an opportunity to take pride in us, so that you can answer those who take pride in what is seen rather than in what is in the heart.” NIV
2. Paul’s defense is job related! It is not about his person.
Notice the “we” that he uses! Not “I”.
3. Paul does not boast about his achievements but about his hardships, struggles and trials of a missionary!, 6:4-5
Second Complaint: Paul says one thing and does another! He does not follow through with his plans (1:15-22).
Paul actually changed his plans twice.
1 Corinthians 16:3-9 his plan was to stay in Ephesus until Pentecost and then to spend the winter in Corinth after passing through Macedonia.
News of the deteriorating situation in the Corinthian church led Paul to change this plan and to go directly to Corinth. This was probably on the spur of the moment. Then he would go to Macedonia and once again return to Corinth. It is Paul’s failure to return after his “painful stay” that leads to this complaint. His stay with them the first time was so difficult that Paul canceled this second trip and returned to Ephesus
Paul apparently communicated these changes to his plan by word of mouth through his representatives.
The complaint: They looked at Paul’s decision to not make a return trip as an indication that Paul was fickle! He can’t make up his mind. He vacillates and says “yes” one time and then “no” another.
Paul’s Answer:
1. The trips were planned and he is not fickle.
The word “plan” or “planned” is used 4 times here!

~ A deliberate act of the will. “I determined” . His plan had been carefully thought out and he fully intended to follow through.
~ He did not make his plans “lightly” – making a promise he did not intend to keep!
2. The integrity of his message is tied to the integrity of the messengers!
God always keeps his promises!
2 Corinthians 1:20 “For no matter how many promises God has made, they are “Yes” in Christ. And so through him the “Amen” is spoken by us to the glory of God.” NIV
2 Peter 1:3-4 “His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. Through these he has given us his very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature and escape the corruption in the world caused by evil desires.” NIV
Titus 1:2 “a faith and knowledge resting on the hope of eternal life, which God, who does not lie, promised before the beginning of time,” NIV
Get the people involved!
Hebrews 13:5-6 “Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you. So we say with confidence, “The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?”” NIV
John 10:27-29 “My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one can snatch them out of my hand. My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all; no one can snatch them out of my Father’s hand.” NIV
John 10:10 “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.” NIV
John 16:24 “Until now you have not asked for anything in my name. Ask and you will receive, and your joy will be complete.”
James 4:7-8 “Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. “Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded.” NIV
Deuteronomy 31:8 “The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.”” NIV
Joshua 1:8 “Do not let this Book of the Law depart from your mouth; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful.” NIV
1 John 1:9 “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” NIV
Revelation 3:20 “Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me.” NIV
Romans 8:28 “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” NIV
John 3:16 ““For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” NIV
God is always on the positive side of things! He loves to say “yes”.
Applications:
1. Paul was focused on his message and mission. The Corinthians were focused on people and programs!
2. People will get your hopes up and will let you down! But God will never let you down!
3. The integrity of our message should motivate us toward the integrity of our words!
If you say it, do it!
Don’t be mealy mouthed or make hesitant commitments!
Get serious about following through!