Oakbrook Evangelical Free Church

1 Timothy 3:1-7 (ESV)
¹ The saying is trustworthy: If anyone aspires to the office of overseer, he desires a noble task.

² Therefore an overseer must be above reproach, the husband of one wife, sober-minded, self-controlled,

respectable, hospitable, able to teach,

 

Introduction:

Walks like him.

Talks like him.

Casts a long shadow in the life of a son.

But, what if no man is standing around you?  What then?

 

ASPIRATION (oregetai/ epithumei)

No pressure should be used that would result in an unwilling, half-hearted service.  If He raised you up to be more than you can be what would you want to be when you grow up?

 

At the heart of whatever you do in life is what you are.

 

Who am I trying to please?

Who am I trying to measure up to?

No matter how many times you’ve tried and failed.

No matter how frustrated you’ve been.

Now is another time to think about the qualities God wants to build into every man’s life.  This is a time when you can reflect on and evaluate where you are in the process of growing up spiritually.

 

Surrounded by fallible models that will let us down. Unreliable

Or not having any model.

Left to live our way into our own profile.  We need an objective model.

 

Context:

~ False teachers

~ Fighting the good fight

~ Taking spiritual initiative and leadership.

 

That the ministry of the church is primarily the work of the members

 ~ as they worship God.

~ as they nurture toward each other,

~ and as they witness to the world.

 

This is about the qualities we ought to be looking for in church leaders

But church governance is NOT the main ministry of the church, but the necessary structure need to nurture the believers, equip and mobilizing of the saints for the work of ministry (Eph. 4:11-12).

Christ is the head of the church,

 

Spiritually everyone else is on level ground before him,

each having direct access to God and responsibility to pray for the good of all as a community of priests (Eph. 4:15; Mt. 23:8-11; 1 Tim. 2:5; Rev. 1:6; Gal. 6:1-2; Heb. 3:13).

 

Leaders of the church must be people who are spiritually mature and exemplary, gifted for the ministry given to them, and have a sense of divine urging, and are part of a team and who’s influence has a harmonizing impact on the church. (1 Timothy 3:1-13; Titus 1:5-9; Rom. 12:6-8; Acts 20:28; Phil. 2:2)

 

 

Not just for those desiring to help lead in ministry.

Saying, “Timothy, if a man wants to become a spiritual leader, that’s great.  Just make sure he’s a mature man, and here’s how you can determine if he measures up to God’s standards as a Christian.”

 

Who in the world feels qualified?  All men are hestitant.

Guard against discouragement – whispering in our ear

            “you’ll never become that kind of man”

            “you’ll never break out of your old sin pattern”

 

 

Qualities of Godly Men – Paul’s Maturity Profile

1.         Reputation

3:2 “Therefore it is necessary for the bishop to be irreproachable.”

IRREPROACHABILITY (anepilempton)

Elsewhere in the New Testament the word is used only in 5:7 (where widows are to be without reproach by putting their hope in God and not living luxuriously or sumptuously or self-indulgently) and 6:14 (where Timothy is to keep the commandment irreproachable till Jesus comes).

The word seems to be a general word for living in a way that gives no cause for others to think badly of Christ or the faith or the Lord. This tells us nothing about the sort of thing that would bring reproach on the church or the Lord. But, coming at the head of the list, it puts a tremendous emphasis on what a person’s reputation is. The focus here is not a person’s relationship to the Lord but how others see him. It seems therefore right from the outset that the public nature of the office is in view with its peculiar demands.

 

How well do I know myself?  Am I open to exploring who I am?

Do I get positive feedback from those closest to me?

Do I want to change?  Do I want to improve?

How do I react to the honest opinion of those close to me?

 

Set a goal!

 

2.         Moral Purity

3:2 “. . . one woman’s husband. . .”

ONE WOMAN’S HUSBAND (mias gunaikas andras)

The word order emphasizes the word “one”. So it is not likely that Paul meant to say that the bishops have to be married. There are words for married he could have used. The word order would probably have put “husband” in the prominent place if that were his intention. Moreover, Paul was not married (1 Corinthians 9:5; 7:7) and he thought singleness was an excellent way to be freer for ministry (1 Cor. 7:32).  Water-tight integrity

 

In verse 4 Paul gets to the issue of how well a man manages his household. So the point here is probably not the man’s competence as a husband. The point probably, coming right after irreproachable, is one of notoriety. What is this man’s reputation with regard to whether he has a reputation of being totally focused on his wife and is clearly loyal to her.  He is not a flirt.  He does not engage in edged verbal bantering with pretty women.  He leaves no room for any women to get the idea that there might be a hint of possibility to get to first base with him because he is sold out to his wife.  He has not given any reason whatsoever of for hope in someone else’s mind.  There is no doubt about this and he leaves no doubt about it.  He does not leave a door open in his mind about another woman.  He does not compare his woman to any other woman in his mind or verbally with someone else.  He is absolutely loyal to her in every way.  Any other woman who tries to come on to him he closes the door forever on that possibility.  It appears that the public standard will be high.. He is in every way a one womaned man.  He has not hedged his bets or left a side door or a back channel of communication open.  He is not a two-timer in any way.

 

Does he remember previous relationships?  Yes, of course.  His has the best computer ever made sitting on top of his shoulders.  But while memories by be fleeting he does not take out the pictures in his mind and focus on them. 

 

He model is the faithfulness of God.

Hesed!  Loyal love no matter her blemishes. 

 

The oneness of the man / woman love relationship is a picture of

a.         God’s relationship within the tri-unity, John 17

b.         Christ’s relationship with his bride, the church

 

Is his wife perfect? Not a chance.

Does she have blemishes?  Yes of course. Of all the people in the world he is the one who knows about them.  He chooses not to focus on these.  Her faults that have hurt or grieved him he has forgiven because love covers a multitude of sins. 

 

Applies to Three types of people should ask themselves it the above is true of them…

Applies to marriage

            Applies to engagement

                        Applies to courtship!

If not, what steps should you take to make this true of you?

If you are two-timing in any way let me challenge you to cold turkey cut off all ties of any kind with anyone else!

            Don’t go to that restaurant, request a change of departments,

            Change jobs, move, change your email address, phone number

            Block them on IM.

            Tell your wife, tell a close friend, end it now!

            Do it today!  Do it without delay.  Tell someone today what u will

                        do tomorrow, stop the charade!  Close the door in your heart.

 

Does this standard mean that an elder/bishop

1) may not be a polygamist?

2) may not remarry after death of his first spouse?

3) may not be remarried after a divorce?

The main argument against #1 is the use of the parallel phrase in 1 Timothy 5:9 in reference to widows whom the church was enrolling in a welfare and service order. She must be “one man’s wife” (henos andros gune). Since polyandry (a woman having several husbands at once) was simply not a practice, this very probably means that the woman had not divorced and remarried.

 

Culture 2000 years ago

3 women man – common for the affluent to have 3 women in their lives.  A slave girl; a prostitute down at the temple; a wife

 

Main concern: that a man have victory over sexual immorality.

A higher standard!

 

Lust vs temptation

 

Matthew 5:27-28 ““You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ “But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” ESV

 

Practical Steps to leave absolutely no room for unfaithfulness!

1.         Develop good communication with your wife (1 Cor 7:1-5)

2.         Avoid sexually stimulating situations

a.      Soft porn included

3.         Actively pursue Christ

4.         Actively pursue only one person and tightly close the door to absolutely everyone else in every way.

5.         Work on thinking right

6.         Be accountable

a.      Wife

b.      One or two good friends

7.         Seek professional help if necessary.

3.         Living a Balanced Life

3:2 “. . .temperate. . .”TEMPERATE (nephalion)
This word is used two other times in the New Testament — in 3:11 of the women (wives of?) deacons; and in Titus 2:2 about older men in general.

 

It is odd that it is used here even though in verse 3 the bishops must not be addicted to wine (me paroinon). Perhaps here the point is more general — namely, that his temperance extends over other things besides wine. Or perhaps the repetition comes because in verse 3f there begins a list of things which the bishop is NOT supposed to be, and Paul felt obliged to include the problem of wine in the negative list as well as the positive.

 

The standard here is one of self-control and mastery of his appetites. The standard is balance

Does not go to extremes

He is focused

Not overwhelmed by trying to do too much.

Not obsessed with things.

 

1 Thessalonians 5:8 “But since we belong to the day, let us be sober, having put on the breastplate of faith and love, and for a helmet the hope of salvation.” ESV