Oakbrook Evangelical Free Church

Powerpoint PDF: One of the Realities of Christmas!
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What urgent needs of those attending will this sermon help?
What concrete changes will result in people who listen
What resources and opportunities at OFC support application from this message?
What examples from the life of our church can illustrate the main points of this sermon?

John 17:20-24 ““I do not ask for these only, but also for those who will believe in me through their word, “that they may all be one, just as you, Father, are in me, and I in you, that they also may be in us, so that the world may believe that you have sent me. “The glory that you have given me I have given to them, that they may be one even as we are one, “I in them and you in me, that they may become perfectly one, so that the world may know that you sent me and loved them even as you loved me. “Father, I desire that they also, whom you have given me, may be with me where I am, to see my glory that you have given me because you loved me before the foundation of the world.” ESV

Did you see it?
What does Jesus want for Christmas?
“Father, I desire that they also, whom you have given me, may be with me”

John 14:2-3 “In my Father’s house are many rooms. If it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you? “And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself, that where I am you may be also.” ESV

I am personally looking forward to what God has in store for me in 2007. I have let Him down in so many ways. But He has never left me or turned his back on me or given up on what He can do in me.

But if 2007 is going to be a good to great year I must learn the cure for loneliness.

So many times of loneliness – all very real:
~ Of course, the loneliness of being away from home or having family away from home during Christmas
~ the loneliness of the battle with sickness. Inner struggle

~ the loneliness of losing a spouse to illness – Betty Ford
~ Lois’ sister, Ruth and husband John lost first child who was killed in a school bus accident on December 5 when their precious little girl was 5 years old.

~ The loneliness of singleness.
Most Married Man Dies Alone
Glynn Wolfe died alone in Los Angeles at the age of 88. No one came to claim his body; the city paid to have him buried in an unmarked grave. This is sad, but not unusual. It happens all too often in large cities where people tend to live disenfranchised lives.

Glynn’s situation was unique, however, because he was no ordinary man. He held a world record. The Guinness Book listed him as the Most Married Man, with 29 marriages to his credit. This means 29 times he was asked, “Do you take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife…forsaking all others do you pledge yourself only to her, so long as you both shall live?” Twenty-nine times Glynn Wolf said, “I do,” but it never quite worked out that way.

He left behind several children, grand-children, great grand-children, a number of living ex-wives, and innumerable ex-in-laws—and still, he died alone. He spent his entire adult life looking for something he apparently never found—and he died alone.

The fact is, if we look for ultimate fulfillment in marriage, romance, friendship, or family, we will never be satisfied. As important as these relationships are, they cannot take the place of the Ultimate Relationship for which we have been created.

~ The loneliness of being abandoned by a father or mother through desertion or divorce.

~ The loneliness of moving to a new location and not having friends, especially missing the intimacy of close friendship.

Close Friends
A study conducted by the National Opinion Research Center at the University of Chicago, released in June of 2006, revealed that Americans have less people they can confide in than past generations.

In 1985, the average American had three people in whom to confide matters that were important to them. In 2004, that number dropped to two.

Perhaps even more striking, the number of Americans with no close friends rose from 10 percent in 1985 to 24.6 percent in 2004.

Dinner Guests:
A May 2005 survey produced the following answers to the question, “How often do we entertain guests for dinner?”
Once a week—6 percent
Once a month—21 percent
More than once a month—12 percent
A few times a year—37 percent
Rarely or never—24 percent

~ The profound loneliness of aging, not being needed, having a sense that the world is passing us by, or being forgotten by a younger generation that has so much stuff to do they don’t make time for us.
Grandma in Tomah
I call her…She calls me. “Just nice to have a man to talk to”

Everyone Needs Someone to Talk To
Marc Horowitz is convinced that everybody needs someone to talk to. What convinced him were the thousands of dinner invitations he received as a result of simply writing his cell phone number on a whiteboard when he was working on a photo shoot for Crate & Barrel. The board, with his number on it, showed up in a recent Crate & Barrel magazine, and that’s when the calls started rolling in.
As an aspiring artist, Horowitz decided to turn the calls into a project so he planned a nationwide road trip to have dinner with any caller who wanted. He has had invitations for “a mean lasagna” in Georgia, coffee in Wisconsin, and Shabbat dinner in Maryland—all from complete strangers. Horowitz has concluded that “a lot of people are lonely and they just want to talk to somebody—to reach out and connect with somebody.”
Sara Kugler, “Artist on Nationwide Tour to Meet Curious Callers,” The Seattle Times (2-14-05)

God’s Cure for Loneliness
I. The God Dimension
Was Christ Every Lonely? – Well, yes and no!
A. Yes…
Matthew 27:46 “And about the ninth hour Jesus cried out with a loud voice, saying, “Eli, Eli, lema sabachthani?” that is, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?”” ESV

Alienated from his siblings.
Rejected by his community.
Often a stranger in the midst of a crowd
Even his closest friends never really understood what he was thinking or going through.

B. No…Look at John 17:20-24 again
John 17:20-24 ““I do not ask for these only, but also for those who will believe in me through their word, “that they may all be one, just as you, Father, are in me, and I in you, that they also may be in us, so that the world may believe that you have sent me. “The glory that you have given me I have given to them, that they may be one even as we are one, “I in them and you in me, that they may become perfectly one, so that the world may know that you sent me and loved them even as you loved me. “Father, I desire that they also, whom you have given me, may be with me where I am, to see my glory that you have given me because you loved me before the foundation of the world.” ESV

John 5:19-20 “So Jesus said to them, “Truly, truly, I say to you, the Son can do nothing of his own accord, but only what he sees the Father doing. For whatever the Father does, that the Son does likewise. “For the Father loves the Son and shows him all that he himself is doing. And greater works than these will he show him, so that you may marvel.” ESV

John 11:38-42 “Then Jesus, deeply moved again, came to the tomb. It was a cave, and a stone lay against it. “Jesus said, “Take away the stone.” Martha, the sister of the dead man, said to him, “Lord, by this time there will be an odor, for he has been dead four days.” “Jesus said to her, “Did I not tell you that if you believed you would see the glory of God?” “So they took away the stone.
And Jesus lifted up his eyes and said, “Father, I thank you that you have heard me. “I knew that you always hear me, but I said this on account of the people standing around, that they may believe that you sent me.”” ESV

Do you see it? Do you see the cure for loneliness demonstrated in Jesus’ life?
Constant fellowship with God!

C. How This Applies to us.
I personally believe that life is all about relationships!
I don’t believe that money and possessions bring happiness.
I believe that all the money and possessions and good grades and personal accomplishments in the world will not satisfy our deep longing to know and be known, to be loved and accepted to have some sense of joy in the middle of all this life has in store.

John 17:20-24 – Do you see what Christ was not lonely?

2 Corinthians 13:14 “The grace of the Lord Jesus Christ and the love of God and the fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with you all.” ESV

1 Corinthians 1:9 “God is faithful, by whom you were called into the fellowship of his Son, Jesus Christ our Lord.” ESV

Philippians 2:1 “So if there is any encouragement in Christ, any comfort from love, any participation (fellowship) in the Spirit, any affection and sympathy,” ESV

Philippians 3:10 “that I may know Him and the power of His resurrection and the fellowship of His sufferings, being conformed to His death; ” NASB95 (sufferings held in common bring an intimacy with Christ like nothing else can)

The promises of God…DVD
The average American lives 40 million minutes. How much of that time will you spend with the One who created time?

If you could change just one thing about your time management, what would it be?

Become honest with God in your “self-talk”
Purpose to spent time alone with Him every day!

II. The Human Dimension

Psalm 142 presents the cycle of discouragement everyone goes through at some point in his life

Psalm 142 presents the cycle of discouragement everyone goes through at some point in his life. Loneliness; Depression; Discouragement
Text: Psalm 142
Topic: How to deal with loneliness

IntroductionIllustration: Story about a preacher who quit his ministry after 18 years because of the loneliness he felt as a leader.

This preacher’s words resemble David’s cry of loneliness in Psalm 142.
Psalm 142 is a beautiful presentation of the cycle of discouragement everyone goes through at some point in life.David writes these words in a cave in which he is hiding from Saul, who wants to kill him.

David gives a detailed description of his loneliness in Psalm 142.
David says he is disoriented; his spirit is muffled within him. David says he has been deserted. David says his feelings of disorientation and desertion have resulted in depression.David says he is defeated; he has no hope for the future.

David verbalizes his emotions.
David teaches us that it is okay to tell God how we feel.
Illustration:In the book Psalms of My Life, the author is staying in a motel by himself, and records a prayer to God describing his loneliness.
Illustration: David Jeremiah recalls the first time he had the courage to tell God he didn’t feel like talking to the Father. He then explains that God can meet us at a place like this and deliver us out of it.

David visualizes his emotions.
David paints God a picture of how he feels, and teaches us that it is okay to visualize your problem if you keep it in perspective.
Illustration:When the Israelites went to KBarnea to look at the Promised Land, they painted a picture of themselves and the giants and the problems there. But when Joshua and Caleb visited the same place, they painted a picture with themselves and the giants and the problems, but included God in it.

David recognizes God already knows what David is telling him.
We can take comfort in the fact that God already is aware of our problems before we even approach him, and he understands.

David realizes God’s provision.
When he sees God’s strength, his problem begins to fade away.

David summarizes his victory.
However, many of us try to get to the victory step without walking through the other steps first to deal with our loneliness.

As the Father has loved me, so I have loved you. Abide in my love.
John 13:34-35
Jn 6:56

1 John 1:3 “what we have seen and heard we proclaim to you also, so that you too may have fellowship with us; and indeed our fellowship is with the Father, and with His Son Jesus Christ. ” NASB95

Acts 2:42 “They were continually devoting themselves to the apostles’ teaching and to fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer. ” NASB95

Galatians 2:9 “and recognizing the grace that had been given to me, James and Cephas and John, who were reputed to be pillars, gave to me and Barnabas the right hand of fellowship, so that we might go to the Gentiles and they to the circumcised. ” NASB95

Horses Prefer Risk to Loneliness
The Horse Whisperer was a movie based upon the work of Monty Roberts. In the book The Shaping of Things to Come, by Michael Frost and Alan Hirsch, the authors comment on a 60 Minutes episode that examined the life of Roberts. They write:

During a 60 Minutes episode, Monty Roberts taught the world the secret of his horse whispering. It involves his getting into the corral with the untamed mustangs and staying as far away from the animal as possible, without leaving the enclosure. He also refuses to allow any eye contact between him and the horse. By moving slowly, but surely, away from the horse, and by keeping his eyes averted from the animal’s gaze, Monty slowly draws the horse to himself. Even though the beast is pounding the earth with his foot, and snorting and circling with great speed, Monty keeps steadily moving away from the horse. He won’t look at it. He won’t approach it. As astounding as it sounds, Monty can have a wild mustang saddled and carrying a rider quite happily. When asked his secret, he says, “The animals need to be with others so much, they would rather befriend the enemy than be left alone.” Michael Frost and Alan Hirsch, The Shaping of Things to Come (Hendrickson, 2003), p. 98; submitted by David Slagle, Decatur, Georgia

2 Timothey 4:9f

~ Decide today to take the risk of building closer relationships!
~ Decide today to become part of a fellowship group and covenant with God and yourself to do your part to help the group go deeper with God and with each other.