Oakbrook Evangelical Free Church

Exodus 20:8-11

Deuteronomy 6:4-7

Psalm 78:5-8

Ephesians 5:22-25

Introduction:

Too much on our plate

Too much in our hands

Overload of work

Overload of people

Eventually leads to total dysfunction

Bottomed out springs

Is not fixed by adding new springs

My thesis this morning is that the spiritual leader of your home is responsible model balace to help bring balance into your home!

I. The Problem

Overload is when our load exceeds our limits. When our reserves are depleted, yet we continue to make withdrawals. When we spend 120 percent of what we have—whether money, time or energy.

Overloaded circuits

Overloaded plates

Overloaded schedules

Overloaded expenses

Workplace stress, the increasingly hectic pace of life

It is important to differentiate between short-term overload and long-term overload. Short-term overload is inevitable; long-term overload is unsustainable. Short-term overloading occurs routinely to all of us: early childhood for parents, tax time for accountants, holy season for clergy, flu season for physicians, book deadlines for authors.

Long-term overload, however, is a more serious problem. When a person chronically violates human limits, eventually there is a price to be paid.

The definition I use for this more hazardous and unsustainable type of long-term overload is: “A state of chronic overage that leads to dysfunction in at least one important area where life requires a ‘decent minimum’.”

Leadership Wired (John Maxwell’s organization) Many management experts advise leaders to maximize their efforts and push things to the limit.

Richard Swenson: Doing more and more with less and less is a common management strategy. Push the limits, then push again. Maximize everything. Multitask to the max. Business at the speed of light. Faster, smarter, cheaper. And, of course, this push for discipline, efficiency, and productivity may be appropriate.

But such a strategy only works on the “unsaturated” side of human limits, where we can still be open and expansive. Once on the “saturated” side of the line, however, the rules change. We cannot put something in until we take something out. Doing more and more with less and less instead becomes doing less and less with less and less.

Sometimes we maximize and multitask, and other times we retreat into margin. Maximizing can help our productivity, but margin can help our sustainability, morale, and caring. We need a good mix of both.

To make room for either the pressures others put on people or the pressures they put on themselves I see people cutting out the things that really matter. This leads not only to chaos but to wasted lives.

Clips from Scripture

Matthew 13:22, “The one who received the seed that fell among the thorns is the man who hears the word, but the worries of this life and the deceitfulness of wealth choke it, making it unfruitful.”

Luke 12:16-21

Deuteronomy 6:4-7 The center of our lives…the simplifying priority!

When push comes to shove, what do we cut out?

II. Symptoms of Overload

For some, the symptoms are emotional: apathy, withdrawal, depression, dread, anger, frustration.

For some they are behavioral: moral failure, relational problems,

risk-taking behavior, excessive self-medication, irritability with co-

workers, hostility, disorganization, mistakes.

Still for others, the main symptoms are physical: abnormal

sleeping or eating patterns, hyperacidity, irritable bowel,

headaches, palpitations, fatigue, exhaustion.

Parents of preschoolers, congressmen, millionaires, church leaders and workers, admit to having all these symptoms.

Margin is the opposite of overload. Margin is making space between our load and our limits. Margin is rare; overload is the norm. The concept of margin suggests leaving a space, a buffer, a reserve for what really matters in our lives.

Margins on a page Margin of error

III. Solutions:

The rapid rise of virtual reality technology like wide-screen and HDT and 24/7 360 channel cable / satellite TV and time saving tools like computers, emails, cells phones is no solution but part of the problem!

1. You must choose the love of your life!

Joshua 24:14-15 “Now fear the LORD and serve him with all faithfulness. Throw away the gods your forefathers worshipped…and serve the LORD. But if serving the LROD seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods (of this world in which you are living). But as for me and my household, we will serve the LORD.”

1 Peter 4:2-3 Will you “live the rest of your earthly life for evil human desires” or “for the will of God? You have spend enough time in the past doing what pagans choose to do – living for themselves”

2. Work hard at building personal relationships

Having connections with others results into less physical illness and better mental health.

Relationships must be given a good climate in which to grow. Overloaded lifestyles are toxic to relational well-being. Most relationships today subsist on a chronic diet of leftovers. We have to budget time and energy for the nurturing of these important relationships.

Relationships often do not come first or even a high 2^nd.

If we are going to make room for life we have to allow Christ to

reconstruct us and our current lifestyles.

“We” vs “me” Is your wife a desperate housewife?

We were made for conversation and community.

We have a call as individuals to become like Christ in the way

we live.

This call is empowered by the Holy Spirit as I yield to Word

But this call is not given in isolation!

There is a connection requirement in God’s call.

ILL: the Hebrew day planner:

PDAs and Daytimers.

“Let there be light” And there is light…and there is evening and

there was morning – day one. Night / day.

Three major activities in each day governed by night and day:

Productivity: 6 am – 6 PM 12 hours

Relationships: 6 pm – 10 pm

Family, extended family, friends, sharing a meal and sharing

stories. No rush. Same stories over and again.

Sleep: 10 pm – 6 am.

Rediscover the beauty of the Hebrew day planner as a timeless principle for a healthy life.

3. Get true rest by…

Getting to bed on time! Stop burning the candle at both ends.

Psalm 127:2 “In vain you rise up early and stay up late, toiling for food to eat for He gives to His beloved ones even in their sleep.”

Using your Sabbath time for rest.

Exodus 20:8-11 “Remember the Sabbath day by keeping it holy. Six days you shall labor and do all your work, but the seventh day is a Sabbath to the LORD your God. On it you shall not do any work…For in six days the LORD made the heavens and the earth…be He rested on the seventh day…”

Instead of filling your open spaces with leisure activities, use it to help your soul get refreshed and ready for what God has in store. Time spent in reflection brings rest to your soul. Allow God to evaluate your motives. Fasten your soul onto His truth and His presence and recommit yourself to pursue a Christ-centered tomorrow.

Committing yourself to doing things slower. The faster you go the harder it is to hear God and see opportunities

Learn to use the unexpected as opportunities to laugh and have fun. One person, after a southern Florida hurricane devastated his house, put up a sign in the front that read “Open House.”

You say: “It’s impossible.” God says: All things are possible (Luke 18:27).

You say: “I’m too tired.” God says: I will give you rest (Matthew 11:28-30).

You say: “I can’t go on.” God says: My grace is sufficient (II Cor 12:0 & Psalms 91:15).

You say: “I can’t figure things out.” God says:I will direct your steps Pr 3:5-6.

You say: “I can’t do it.” God says: You can do all things (Philippians 4:13).

You say: “I’m not able.” God says: I am able (II Corinthians 9:8).

You say: “It’s not worth it.” God says: It will be worth it (Roman 8:28).

You say: “I’m afraid.” God says: I have not given you a spirit of fear (II Ti 1:7).

You say: “I’m always worried and frustrated.” God says: Cast all your cares on ME (I Peter 5:7).

You say: “I don’t have enough faith.” God says: I’ve given everyone a measure of faith (Romans 12:3).

You say: “I’m not smart enough.” God says: I give you wisdom (I Cor1:30).

You say: “I feel all alone.” God says: I will never leave you or forsake you (Heb13:5).

You say: “I’m burned out.” God says: Repent and the times of refreshing will come (Acts 3:19).

4. Learning to say “yes” to God’s built in speed limits

Create space in your life by

Limiting your availability. Turn the cell phone off. Don’t rush to open your emails. Block out times for you and your family when you cannot be reached. Despite what our culture says, it is not rude, it is necessary. A cell-phone or pager may not be a wise choice for you. Use the technology that helps you control your life and not the kind that controls you.

Limiting your choices. New choices require decisions, decisions require evaluation, evaluation requires time. From the cable / satellite package you choose to the meals you serve, to which phone company you select, sometimes simple is better.

Limiting your commitments. Schedule times of solitude by writing them in your calendar. Pray about everything you are asked to do before you say “yes”. Make sure that it lines up with God’s strategic plan and purpose for you. Realize that most things take more time than we expect and plan accordingly. Redefine spiritual activity as anything you do in response to God’s desires for you. What has He gifted you to do? What passions has He given you? Sometimes the most spiritual thing is getting enough sleep.

Fast is OK. Many of us enjoy thinking, talking and working at a rapid pace. Faster is also OK. But too fast is not OK. Once we cross the threshold called “hurry,” life begins to backfire. Our system’s become overloaded and we lose focus, make mistakes and take longer to finish. We become irritable, begin to perspire, and yell at our colleagues. Then, at the end of the day, we wonder what went wrong. Often, it was simply a matter of too much speed.

Hardworking, time-pressured individuals tend to have their carburetors set on high and gears stuck in overdrive. Effective leaders need to discover a slower gear as well, throttling down occasionally for recharging, reflection, rest, and relationship.

5. Learn to say “no”.

It is so hard to say.

We might miss out,

We’ll disappoint others,

We won’t get the work done.

We might not do what we want to do?

But, are we saying “yes” to God’s “no’s”?

If we are going to make some real changes in our lifestyles we will first have to become aware of the bad habits we’ve developed.

Set some boundaries on your work!

Set realistic expectations on yourself and others around you.

In as much as possible, set some boundaries on what you will do.

We must address the myths and lies in our heads!

We must set some boundaries!

In short, to say no means to feel horrible.

But when the saturation of your human limits is reached, saying no becomes a simple proposition. If we have thirty hours of things to choose from in a 24-hour day, we must learn to say no to six hours’ worth.

A spiritual leader needs to become comfortable saying no.

When you need to focus, saying no is more important than saying yes. Instead of feeling like a personal failure, this ability to say no is a sign of maturity and wisdom.

Viewed from God’s perspective the need to say no is simply an opportunity to clarify your priorities. Whether being phoned during dinner or beeped during church, healthy boundaries are needed to guard our sanity and sustainability.

6. Live in tune with God by…

Giving God permission to organize your life…one day at a time…and permission to rearrange it a moment at a time. You’ll have to listen for God’s rhythm ­ His drumbeat is different than that of the world. His plan will include making room in your life to connect with people. The challenge is to believe Him and trust Him.

Choosing commitments and activities in light of the goals God reveals to you during your times of rest. Figure out with Him what His plan for you is today…this week…this month…this year. Say “no” to the things that are not strategic.

Partnering with others in the body of Christ. I have discovered reordering our lives is a terribly difficult task on our own. We need to help each other create margins and preserve them. We can give each other permission and reminders to leave margins in our lives providing the encouragement that the world never will.

Resources

Making Room for Life – Trading Chaotic Lifestyles for Connected

Relationships, Randy Frazee (Zondervan)

Celebration of Discipline – The Path to Spiritual Growth, Foster

Freedom of Simplicity, Richard Foster, (Harper & Row)

What is a Family, by Edith Schaeffer

Margin, by Richard Swenson
The Overload Syndrome, by Richard Swenson
For the Family’s Sake, by Susan Schaeffer Macaulay
For the Children’s Sake, by Susan Schaeffer Macaulay

The Disciplined Life, by Richard Shelly Taylor

Reforming Marriage, by Douglas Wilson

Primarily for husbands. Discusses the heart issues involved in developing a relationship with your wife that is pleasing to God