Love “in Community” – Setting Limits
When A Christian Sins, What’s The Church To Do?Pastor Ed Riddick - Sunday, January 23rd, 2005
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Introduction:
As I sat with my family at a local breakfast establishment, I noticed a finely dressed man at an adjacent table. His Armani suit and stiffly pressed shirt coordinated perfectly with a “power” tie. His wing-tipped shoes sparkled from a recent shine. Every hair was in place, including his perfectly groomed mustache.
The man sat alone, eating a bagel, as he prepared for a meeting. As he reviewed the papers before him, he appeared nervous, glancing frequently at his Rolex watch. It was obvious he had an important meeting ahead.
The man stood up, and I watched as he straightened his tie and prepared to leave. Immediately, I noticed a blob of cream cheese attached to his finely groomed mustache. He was about to go into the world, dressed in his finest, with cream cheese on his face. I thought of the business meeting he was about to attend. Who would tell him? Should I? What if no one did?
Suddenly the sermon on “community and accountability” I was preparing to preach flashed into my mind. I pushed my chair back and stood to warn him, but the tables were too close and the noise of the crowd too loud. He was at the door and on his way before I could stop him. Hopefully, the man looked in the mirror when he got into his car and saved himself from embarrassment.
All of us have flaws. That’s why Christian community is so important. We need others to walk with us, friends who see us as we are, including our blemishes and blunders. We need brothers and sisters who care enough to speak the truth in love and offer a word of kind correction. Pastor James R. Needham
In an interview with a new teenage believer who wanted to join the church I asked, “What does membership mean?” Without hesitation she said, “It means being accountable.” Wow!
Church discipline: This subject is itself difficult, even controversial.
But it is a biblically directed means of dealing with certain levels of sin.
It is a foregone conclusion that Christians sin.
What should a church do when a member commits sexual immorality?
What should the church do when a member turns to alcohol to avoid a personal problem?
What should a church do with a member is an incessant gossip?
Should we say, “It’s complicated and none of our business?”
Wouldn’t you want to know if you had cream cheese on your face?
Not a pleasant subject but the one we come to in this passage.
1 Cor 5 is about why we must have accountability in the church.
I. Sin Is Deadly
1 Corinthians 5:1-2 ” It is actually reported that there is sexual immorality among you, and of a kind that does not occur even among pagans: A man has his father’s wife. And you are proud! Shouldn’t you rather have been filled with grief and have put out of your fellowship the man who did this?” NIV
A. The Man’s Sin
Reported – universally known / the word on the street
porneia - In NT generally used = sexual impurity of any kind.
Paul does not call the sin “adultery” = father is not living or that he is
divorced.
Paul does not describe this as “incest” = the woman is probably the offender’s stepmother. She is probably not a Christian. The church is not given any instruction regarding her.
Leviticus 18:8 ” “‘Do not have sexual relations with your father’s wife; that would dishonor your father.” NIV
Leviticus 20:11 ” “‘If a man sleeps with his father’s wife, he has dishonored his father. Both the man and the woman must be put to death; their blood will be on their own heads.” NIV
Personal spiritual growth depends on developing a strong moral, biblical ethic and a personal willingness to deal courageously with personal sin.
“does not occur among the pagans” = the gentiles also condemn it.
“has his father’s wife” = present infinitive means this is not a single act but a continuous relationship. This man persists in the sin and refuses to admit that it is sin and repent of if.
B. The Church’s Response
1. Their Reaction Was Pride
Not necessarily proud that it was going on.
May be proud of their tolerance and open-mindedness.
They may have viewed this as an example of their freedom of
which they are proud.
Maybe the pride as their general state of inflated view of themselves.
This sin should have at least pricked the balloon of pride.
“puffed up”
The divisive pursuit of worldly wisdom; Self-opinionatedness
But also have other expressions – laxness regarding moral issues
Somehow they thought that they were being broadminded, inclusive and tolerant. They thought that it was a wonderful thing that the love of God is broad enough even to accept people living in that kind of lifestyle.
Will and Grace is no laughing matter!
The situation does not call for tolerant laughter but for lamentation!
One of the marks of our postmodern culture is “vulgar relativism” as Michael Novak say in an article entitled “Awakening From Nihilism” which has hijacked the meaning of the word arrogance and humility.
G.K Chesterton
“What we suffer from today is humility in the wrong place. Modesty has moved from the organ of ambition. Modesty has settled upon the organ of conviction; where it was never meant to be. A man is meant to be doubtful about himself, but undoubting about the truth; this has been exactly reversed…The old humility made a man doubtful about his efforts, which might make him work harder. But the new humility make a man doubtful about his aims, which make him stop working altogether….we are on the road to producing a man too mentally modest to believe in the multiplication table.”
Piper goes on to say, “Modern-day humility is firmly rooted in the relativism that recoils from knowing truth and naming error.”
2. Their Reaction Should Have Been Genuine Grief
You should have been filled with grief
And put the man out of your fellowship to show the sincerity of your grief.
Ezekiel 18:4 ” For every living soul belongs to me, the father as well as the son—both alike belong to me. The soul who sins is the one who will die.” NIV
Romans 6:23 ” For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.” NIV
Romans 8:6 ” For the mind set on the flesh is death, but the mind set on the Spirit is life and peace, ” NASB95
James 1:14-15 ” but each one is tempted when, by his own evil desire, he is dragged away and enticed. Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.” NIV
Why must the church exercise discipline?
1. When sin is left unchecked in the church the sinner himself is put at risk since the last possible obstacle against the actions that threaten his soul is removed.
All of us struggle with sin. Paul is not talking about throwing anyone out who commits sin and receiving only those who are perfect.
Paul is talking about unrepentant, persistent, grievous sin that exists in the church.
Principle: any community inculcating moral standards is bound to recognize a degree beyond which transgression of its moral code becomes intolerable because tolerating it destroys the individual.
II. People Need to Live Right
1 Corinthians 5:2-5 “Shouldn’t you rather have been filled with grief and have put out of your fellowship the man who did this? Even though I am not physically present, I am with you in spirit. And I have already passed judgment on the one who did this, just as if I were present. When you are assembled in the name of our Lord Jesus and I am with you in spirit, and the power of our Lord Jesus is present, hand this man over to Satan, so that the sinful nature may be destroyed and his spirit saved on the day of the Lord.” NIV
The second reason we need to rediscover accountability in the church is that people need to live right.
A. What’s the church to do?
What does it mean to turn him over to Satan?
Exclude the offender from their community.
The New Community rested on the defeat of Satan.
To be excluded from the sphere in which Christ’s work is operative was to be thrust back into the realm in which Satan still exercised his authority.
Not saying turn him over to Satan so he can take him to hell.
Push him back out into the world so that his sinful nature can be dealt with.
Put him out of the fellowship and let him see the full end of the path he has chosen.
Quit propping him up.
Quit putting a mattress betw him and the wall.
Why did the Prodigal son come to his senses?
Because his daddy didn’t send him money to subsidize his sinful lifestyle.
Principle: any community inculcating moral standards is bound to recognize a degree beyond which transgression of its moral code becomes intolerable because tolerating it destroys the foundation on which that community rests. Exclusion becomes necessary.
Paul’s call on the local church to rediscover its corporate authority. The church must not have a failure of nerves and flinch on moral issues of our day. People need to know how to live right!
Oh the difficulty of holding each other accountable!
This is the road less traveled. But it is the road of living rightly!
God is always the final judge.
Holding each other accountable in the fellowship is very difficult.
In the short run it would be so much easier to ignore it.
So often sin is swept under the carpet.
So often there is a covert conspiracy to not speak the truth
in love.
Corporate unwillingness to deal with sin multiplies sin. Everyone gets hurt when the church fails to hold accountable a member who is guilty of glaring disobedience to scripture.
Why must the church exercise discipline?
2. Unchecked sin harms the moral code.
It gives the impression that sin is permissible and outward conduct matters little to God. And sin multiples within the local church.
Church growth then is not based evangelism and seeing people changed by the Gospel. It is based on cultural correctness and popularity.
The hard work of discipline is important not only for the offender but because people need to know how to live rightly.
B. Paul’s leadership, 5:3
Paul is an apostle. In his mind he has already taken action.
If he has to he will do when he comes.
Clearly, the direction of the church in matters of discipline rests in the hands of its leaders. A straightforward analysis of the NT shows
that a group of men called “overseers” or “elders” stands at the helm of the local church. These men exercise broad discretionary authority under the approval and submissive willingness of the congregation in regard to the spiritual directions of the church.
The NT clearly allows for some flexibility here. No matter the titles church leaders bear it is undeniable that a plurality of church leaders stand together at the highest level in corporate matters.
Dealing with sin among Christians is a sensitive, complex and even dangerous matter. That’s why Paul says in Galatians 6
Galatians 6:1-3 ” Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently. But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted. Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. If anyone thinks he is something when he is nothing, he deceives himself.” NIV
No Christian can stand alone. And we must be ever so careful, loving and patient. We should move slowly. The church is a hospital, not a museum. But there are operating rooms and counseling rooms in hospitals. Doctors dare not ignore a tumor.
No pastor can stand alone!
C. God’s presence and power, 5:4 God gives grace.
Psalm 82:1-4 “God presides in the great assembly; he gives judgment among the “gods”: “How long will you defend the unjust and show partiality to the wicked? Selah Defend the cause of the weak and fatherless; maintain the rights of the poor and oppressed. Rescue the weak and needy; deliver them from the hand of the wicked.” NIV
D. Christ’s Straightforward and Simple Pattern for Building Bridges Instead of Walls
Matthew 18:15-20 ” “If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over. But if he will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.’ If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, treat him as you would a pagan or a tax collector. “I tell you the truth, whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven. “Again, I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything you ask for, it will be done for you by my Father in heaven. For where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them.”” NIV
1. Never move to help others until you’ve drenched it in prayer and made a thorough self-examination.
Galatians 6:1 ” Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently. But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted.” NIV Ask God to give you a caring heart.
1 Corinthians 11:28-29 ” A man ought to examine himself before he eats of the bread and drinks of the cup. For anyone who eats and drinks without recognizing the body of the Lord eats and drinks judgment on himself.” NIV
2. Notice that the issue is “sin” (missing God’s mark) not personal preference or our personal liking. Many interpersonal issues should simply be placed under the “tent of mercy.”
3. Go to the brother or sister in private to get the facts, to reconcile or confront sin.
Proverbs 27:6 ” Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses.” NIV
Notice that this is not an option but a command.
Must keep short accounts. “Don’t let the sun go down on your anger”
Unresolved hurt will create anger in your heart and unrelieved
anger will become bitterness and will poison the lives of many.
And don’t jump to conclusions! Get the facts first. Wrong assumptions are deadly. Few things hurt worse that false accusations.
4. Two or three others are to be brought in for clarity
5. Go for the right reasons.
Thorough and impartial inquiry.
Rescue and restoration
For the good of the individual and the good of the work.
6. Finally, if the person remains unrepentant “tell it to the church”.
The local church is to declare the judgment of heaven.
Matthew 18:17 “tell it to the church” is best understood as the plural leadership of the church who can represent the whole congregation in the hearing of confessions as well as in rebuking and instructing an offender. David Martin, Pastor, EvFree, Hershey, PA
Fortunately, the pattern in the NT is simple, brief, and flexible.
III. Unchecked sin pollutes the entire church
1 Corinthians 5:6-8 ” Your boasting is not good. Don’t you know that a little yeast works through the whole batch of dough? Get rid of the old yeast that you may be a new batch without yeast—as you really are. For Christ, our Passover lamb, has been sacrificed. Therefore let us keep the Festival, not with the old yeast, the yeast of malice and wickedness, but with bread without yeast, the bread of sincerity and truth.” NIV
Why must the church exercise discipline?
3. Sin neglected, spreads.
Attitudes and actions are contagious. We are all “contagious”!
ILL: Rainy days in Day Camp!
It creates a culture of human opinion vs divine revelation.
Erodes the spiritual vitality of the church
Diminishes the effectiveness of the church’s ministry
Exposes the church to the judgment of God.
If we fail to rightly judge ourselves God will step in.
1 Corinthians 11:29-32 ” For anyone who eats and drinks without recognizing the body of the Lord eats and drinks judgment on himself. That is why many among you are weak and sick, and a number of you have fallen asleep. But if we judged ourselves, we would not come under judgment. When we are judged by the Lord, we are being disciplined so that we will not be condemned with the world.” NIV
IV. People Need Jesus
1 Corinthians 5:9-11 ” I have written you in my letter not to associate with sexually immoral people— not at all meaning the people of this world who are immoral, or the greedy and swindlers, or idolaters. In that case you would have to leave this world. But now I am writing you that you must not associate with anyone who calls himself a brother but is sexually immoral or greedy, an idolater or a slanderer, a drunkard or a swindler. With such a man do not even eat.” NIV
Unchecked sin impacts the lost world.
Sin corrupts a society.
People become sick of sin.
They silently look for a cure.
When the church is silent about sin other “false gospels” step in with non-cures. That is one of the reasons Islam is having an impact on our American society.
Principle: one of the marks of a healthy church is willingness and ability to deal wisely, spiritually and compassionately with the conflicts and confusion caused by sin among its members.
Paul is saying to the Corinthian church that is high time they take corporate responsibility for the actions of its individual members and declare the demands of God’s gospel of grace.
“Don’t misunderstand me” Paul says – understand me clearly, 5:9-11
Biblical separation is not separation from sinners in the world.
Our mission is to plant more and more seeds of the gospel.
Biblical separation is rebuilding walls between you and sin.
Biblical separation is from unrepentant sinning brothers who will not
heed accountability and council.
Sins for which we must hold each other accountable:
1. Sexual immorality of various kinds
2. Materialism and fraud
3. Conduct of worship
4. Slander – saying bad things behind people’s backs even if they are true.
Slander Destroys Churches
About 20 years ago, I said something impromptu to the new members standing in a row across the front of the church. As we received them, the Holy Spirit prompted me to add, “And now, I charge you that if you ever hear another member speak an unkind word of criticism or slander against anyone—myself, an usher, a choir member, or anyone else—that you stop that person in mid-sentence and say, ‘Excuse me—who hurt you? Who ignored you? Who slighted you? Was it Pastor Cymbala? Let’s go to his office right now. He’ll apologize to you, and then we’ll pray together so God can restore peace to this body. But we won’t let you talk critically about people who aren’t present to defend themselves.’
“I’m serious about this. I want you to help resolve this kind of thing immediately. And know this: If you are ever the one doing the loose talking, we’ll confront you.”
To this day, every time we receive new members, I say much the same thing. That’s because I know what most easily destroys churches. It’s not crack cocaine, government oppression, or even lack of funds. Rather it’s gossip and slander that grieves the Holy Spirit.
Citation: Jim Cymbala, Fresh Wind, Fresh Fire (Zondervan, 1997
5. Unrepentant addictions
6. Marriage relationships
7. Parent / child relationship
8. Matters of doctrine
Difficult questions remain:
What does Paul mean, “With such a man do not even eat.”?
Is this the Mennonite / Amish practice of shunning?
Do you think that this at least means refraining from Communion when repudiating personal responsibility to the standards and practices of the Christian community?
Does this mean that when a Christian’s personal sin has caused division and confusion in the local church that they should not continue to be given the blessings of fellowship in other ways among the church?
When there is an incongruity of his / her behavior with what the church professes should those in the fellowship avoid any association with the offending brother or sister which would imply their identity with that local church?
Would it be better if the offending brother saw this incongruity and recognized their responsibility to step away from the circle of fellowship?
Conclusion: 5:12-13
John Ortberg writes about John Wesley’s Questions for Accountability: In the movement associated with John Wesley, people met together in little communities to help hold each other accountable for their deepest values and most important decisions. Wesley had a beautiful phrase for this: he called it watching over one another in love.
Before someone entered into this community, they would be asked a series of questions to see if they were serious about living in mutual accountability. Sometimes when I speak on community I’ll read these to church leaders, and ask them to imagine these questions being posed to attenders at their churches:
· Does any sin, inward or outward, have control over you?
· Do you desire to be told of your faults?
· Do you desire to be told of all your faults—and that plain and clear? (By this point, church leaders are inevitably laughing at even the idea of people putting up with such pointed questions.)
· Consider! Do you desire that we should tell you whatsoever we think, whatsoever we fear, whatsoever we hear concerning you?
· Do you desire that in doing this we should come as close as possible, that we should cut to the quick, and search your heart to the bottom?
· Is it your desire and design to be on this and all other occasions entirely open, so as to speak everything that is in your heart, without exception, without disguise, and without reserve?
John Ortberg, Everybody’s Normal ‘Till You Get to Know Them
People are looking for people who stand for something.
Do you love Jesus enough to say, “ I’m going to be accountable. If you see something in my life, talk to be about it and I will assume God sent you. Even if it is something I don’t want to hear, I will listen to you. I will pray about it. I will change whatever it is if I need to. I won’t leave. And over time I will become more like Christ in the fellowship of the recovering sinners. I want to be different because people need to see Christ in me and people need the Lord.
(For more study: Lk 17:1-4; 1 Cor 6:3-5; Gal 6:1-3; 1 Tim 5:19-21; Phil 1:9, 10;
1 Thess 5:12-22; 2 Thess 3:6-15)